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The
defense of ice cream
An
acquaintance of mine, who happens to be a doctor's wife, recently lost a
great deal of unwanted weight through the Atkins diet. You know the one-
the plan where you throw away anything remotely resembling bread, and
chew on great hunks of meat for weeks on end. She showcased her newly
thinned up body this spring in shorts, remarking that it was a shame
that she fouled up her body for so many years eating all those baddy
McBad-bads...... carbohydrates.
In her sugar sweet southern voice she declared, "Those
carbohydrates are just soooooo bad for you!"
I, who exist mainly on a solid diet of cereal, bread and ice cream, was
appalled by this statement. "They are not!" I sprang to
defense of my beloved carbs- "you just have to work them off,
that's all."
She looked at me as if I
had just declared the world was round and she was NOT Christopher
Columbus. "Of course they are bad for you." Her tone seemed to
remind me that it was she, not I, who was a doctor's wife, and thank you
very much, didn't her svelte form just say it all?
But you know, I work really hard for my less than perfect physique, and
that hard work does NOT include chowing down on big ole hunks of meat
three times a day. A diet like that would indeed make me look as skinny
as the anorexic Olsen twins- my taste buds have never really
turned to the carnivorous realm for comfort. I voiced as much.
"Well." She put her hands on her hips. "If you don't like
meat; there are plenty of other options- all MUCH healthier for you than
eating all those unhealthy carbs."
"I'm not really a great fan of cheese." I countered. "I
mean," (I hastened to clarify as I am sure I have been seen all
over town gobbling up huge bowls of cheese dip on my tortilla chips at
Mexican restaurants) "I like it SOMETIMES but not every single day.
She opened her mouth to speak, but I was way ahead of her. "I don't
like eggs- much. I probably eat about 1 a month or how ever many eggs
are used in brownies, cookies or cakes." I was thinking aloud now.
"I believe there are also eggs in pasta, so that most likely brings
the number up a bit....."
"You can't eat PASTA." She shot back at me. She spit out the
word "PASTA" like it was DIRT. I guess in the
Atkins world, pasta does equal dirt.
Now listen. I am not a brain surgeon or a heart specialist. But
ask any trainer what it takes to keep a healthy, exercising body going,
and they are going to tell you "carbohydrates." I saw on a
television special that Lance Armstrong eats vast quantities of
carbohydrates to train and to stay in shape during the Tour de France.
I, in fact, have maintained a size 4 body for the last four years by
eating mostly carbohydrates. And this she was here to tell me that
essentially I was killing myself with cereal while she stuffed herself
full of bratwurst, bacon and ribs? I just couldn't buy it.
Of course, she wasn't coming around to my side of the story either.
However, I wasn't telling HER to lay off the canned ham because it was
going to kill her, because frankly, I like the good ole American way of
eating what you want. It's our right, isn't it, for some people to fire
up a side of beef on the grill while others of us have bread and butter
with our pasta?
I just can't embrace a way of life that precludes any delicious home
baked cookies, cakes, or pies. Sugar, she told me, is also a big no-no;
it turns straight to (gasp!) carbohydrates. It was the brutal,
brutal truth, she revealed, that one day I was going to probably keel
over dead; a cookie in my lips.
"If I'm going to go;" I said, thinking about trying to cut
through a meal of steak, egg and cheese, "I think I am going to
have to go the old cookie route." Ignoring her look of disapproval
and the plea to come over to the light, I quickly added to soften the
blow, "But really, you look great." Just don't take away my
cookies.
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