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Danny |
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Sing:
Kay-Yo…Kay..Yay..Yay..O! Blue
Light come and me wanna go home. Every night on the news we see the same file footage of Martha leaving the courthouse with her winter coat and wrap, sort of the way we used to see Ken Starr and his coffee cup- -over and over and over. Say Martha- -okay, “MARTHA”- -what kind of rodent is that around your neck? Could it be WEASEL? Poor
Martha. Well, actually, not
that poor. But it’s like
picking on a girl, you know, for chewing gum or talking in class, while
the schoolyard bully Ken Lay is out back beating up little kids for
their lunch money and Dennis Kozlowski is shaking down the faculty with
some sort of “protection plan”. “Yo,
yooze gives me your money, see, and no one gets hurt.” Gordon
Gekko would have loved it. “Greed
is good.” Kozlowski’s
the Tyco guy who, along with his sidekick chief financial officer Mark
Swartz, allegedly stole more than $170 million from their company, along
with allegedly pocketing $430 million from fraudulent stock sales. Stole. Maybe
that’s what Martha is wearing? A
stole. How becoming. Rodent fur. However,
becoming like one of these other corporate crooks- -alleged crooks-
-makes Martha look like a piker. She’s
not Ken Lay or Dennis Kozlowski or John Rigas or Bernie Ebbers or any of
the dozens of others who should be on their way up the river to do hard
time. It’s Skilling me. She didn’t steal from her company. Her whole deal has probably cost her way more in lawyer’s
fees than she would have made- -a paltry $228,000- -on her stock sale.
She got a little tip- -or not- -about a stock tanking and decided
to get out. Who wouldn’t? “Yes
sir, this ship is about to sink, but you must remain on board until
tomorrow’s official announcement.” But
it brings camera time to U S Attorney prosecutor What’s-’is-name who
you know is running for office and needs all the free air time he can
get. Meanwhile
real crooks go free. Well,
some do. O J Simpson was
busted for stealing satellite and cable TV this week.
“Yes
Sergeant, what are you booking him for?” “Broadcast
reception without a permit.” Right
up there with Mike Royko’s “mopery with intent to gawk.” Murder? No way.
Where’s the FCC when you really need them?
Anyway, it was probably just surveillance equipment O J’s been
using to find the real killers. Also
this week, Attorney General John Ashcroft was in intensive care.
He was visiting the Bill of Rights.
Actually he had his gall bladder removed.
More than likely, he still will have a lot of gall.
What basic freedom will he tackle next?
Which of your unalienable rights will he seek to curtail- -(My
guess? The Pursuit of
Happiness!). By
the way, what if he had had no health care?
I want HIS plan. And political gadfly the Reverend Al Sharpton
has thrown his support to John Kerry.
The Reverend Al’s best move this campaign season was appearing
as one of the Three Wise Men in a Saturday Night Live skit during the
Christmas season. Sharpton
is not so much a politician as an Appollo-tician. And it should be noted that Senator John Kerry
now has the 2,162 delegates needed for nomination at the Democratic
convention, which, if you remember, is being held in Boston this year. Is that a co-inky-dink or what?
First The Patriots win the Super Bowl, then
The Red Sox win the pennant, and John Kerry wins the White House. Well, you can dream, can’t you?
I mean about The Red Sox. That’s
the iffy link in the chain. The
other two are a done deal. Okay, I’m gonna go heat up some chowdah, put
on an Aerosmith CD and crack open a Sam Adams.
CHEERS!! |
