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Zany Cheney’s Insaney Explainy

Vice President Dick Cheney sat on a stool in the middle of a town hall “meeting-in-the-round” last week in Des Moines, Iowa, wearing his trademarked red-white-and-blue tights and Superman-style cape, bald pate shining in the klieg lights, with the doting “little woman” at his side- -no, not Jo March- -his wife, Lynne, hanging on his every word.  Maybe he couldn’t do The Twist back in 1962, but he had mastered that Walter Pigeonesque “Dr Morbius” voice of doom.  “A vote for John Kerry is a vote for the terrorists” he intoned in his holier-than-thou baritone, and reminded us all he could not be responsible for the results, which, according to all probabilities, would end up much as had the Belerephon Expedition.

What Cheney actually said, holding a hand mic like a lounge-lizard crooner, according to the AP, was “It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States.”  Be afraid.  Be very, very afraid.  Vote for us who keep you safe.

He went on to say that if Kerry were elected, the nation risks falling back into a "pre-9/11 mind-set" that terrorist attacks are criminal acts that require a reactive approach. Instead, he said Bush's offensive approach works to root out terrorists where they plan and train, and pressure countries that harbor terrorists, and was in addition basically very offensive.

Okay- -let’s think about this.  If Bush is reelected the terrorists won’t strike?  Is that right?  How could he possibly know this unless he is in league with the terrorists himself.

And what is this “pre-9/11 mind-set”?  Does that mean that no matter how loud terrorism experts who work for our own State and Defense Departments scream that we must

prepare for al Qaeda, nothing is done?  Ignore anything done on Clinton’s watch?

After a look back at Bush’s first nine months in office and the parallel stories of select FBI and CIA personnel, as well as White House staffers themselves who were ignored, what Alice-In-Wonderland logic is it to assume that President Kerry would return to a time when Presidents vacationed in Crawford, Texas, while presidential daily briefing papers were entitled “Osama bin Laden Determined to Beat the Crap out of the US”? 

Isn’t it just the other way around?  If Bush is reelected, the terrorists strike again at will, because Bush is their best recruiting poster and he has encouraged more potential terrorists to enlist in Allah’s Army.  Terrorist leadership realizes that we are just as vulnerable as we were before 9/11.  For all the flag-waving and speeches about how safe we are, we aren’t really any safer than before 9/11.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid.       

We should be working in concert with every civilized, and some not so civilized, nations on the planet to shut this down once and for all.  But Bush has so alienated most of those from whom we need help, most of whom also have their own terrorism problems, it may not be possible without regime change in Washington.  What if we worked together with other countries?  What a concept.  George’s Folly is one of the all-time stupidest acts.

We need the Germans, home of Mohammed Atta and friends, and the Spanish, home of the Madrid bombing before their election last year, the French, home of the “Head Scarf” controversy that got some of their journalists captured in Iraq, and the Philippines, who lost some truck drivers and pulled out of Iraq, and Indonesia and Pakistan, both of whom have their own terrorist problems, and Singapore, India and El Salvador. Also the Italians, who are dealing with their own Libyan illegal-immigration problem.  Egypt is a possible voice of reason in the Middle East.  Morocco and Turkey have moderate Muslim populations, and on and on.   George Bush has angered these all and just about anyone else you can think of.  Heck, even the Canadians are against us.  Bush isn’t going to turn this around.  It will just be more of the same.  It only turns around when he’s booted out.

John Kerry has already been to European, African, and oh yes, South East Asian countries in the course of his lifetime.  He says he will put the pieces back together that Bush has split asunder.  We’ve got to start somewhere.  More of the same isn’t working.

The other day North Korea exploded something that seemed from a distance that it could be nuclear, given the size of the explosion and the two-mile wide mushroom cloud seen even from satellites.  Kim Jung Il has long been known to be foolish and egotistical enough to do this, as has his Minister of Defense, his cousin, Mental-Lee Il.

Senator John Kerry on Sunday accused Bush of being a Girlie-Man by letting "a nuclear nightmare" develop with North Korea by refusing to deal with North Korea when Bush first came to office.  Mr Kerry insisted that the fact that North Korea was threatening such an action was a sign of failed diplomacy. "I think that this is one of the most serious failures and challenges to the security of the United States, and it really underscores the way in which George Bush talks the game but doesn't deliver," he said.

Bush mouthpieces appeared on the Sunday chat shows to rebut Kerry, but it’s a fact that North Korea makes nothing except weapons and feeds its starving population by selling to whoever wants them- -rockets, missiles, big bombs, land mines- -step right up- -although watch your step with the land mines- -anything that explodes.

As usual, the Bush spokesmen try to compare Kerry’s policies with what they call the “failed policies” of the Clinton administration.  They don’t tell you that Reagan never retaliated for the Beirut Marine barracks bombing, or the Pan Am flight blown up over Lockerbie, or Bush the First’s failed conclusion to Gulf War I.  If Reagan had blown those early terrorists to smithereens, the present ones wouldn’t be so emboldened.  Instead he traded arms for hostages and then said he didn’t.  And he let them eat cake--with a file in it, and inscribed a Bible to the Ayatollah- -I’m sure just what he wanted.

We have one chance to get it right and G W Dunce and his Porky Sidekick are not it.

You think about it some more.  I’m bushed.

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