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Danny |
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Fox & Hounds Despite
the utter chaos and confusion in Iraq, President Bush has announced that
he will keep his planned June 30th turnover date for the transfer of
power in Iraq. At this
point in time, however, he’s not quite sure who might be on the
receiving end of that power swap, although some of the news hounds from
the FOX Cable News Channel have volunteered.
Picture Iraqi President Bill O’Reilly and Prime Minister Sean
Hannity. These guys are so
gung-ho in favor of anything Bushie might say or do that they would be
willing to go to Baghdad just to receive the key to the city- -as long
as it was all done in the green zone in an atmosphere similar to their
own green rooms. Of course,
YOU are welcome to apply as well- -sort of like the Indians turning over
Manhattan or the Mexicans giving John C Fremont California. Or Geraldo at the empty vault.
Pick your own favorite. I
kind of like the baseball manager taking the ball from one pitcher and
handing it to the reliever. The
pitchers change, but the team is the same.
In a recent speech at the Army’s War College
in Pennsylvania the President said “Generations of officers have come
here to study the strategies and history of warfare.
I’ve come here tonight to report back to the Alabama National
Guard.” Actually he came to outline his ideas once
again about what needs to be done in Iraq.
Unfortunately he has still has not outlined HOW these needs will
be accomplished. Ah,
details, details. This
warmed over hash was so not newsworthy that the major broadcast
networks, having advanced transcripts, didn’t even bother to carry the
speech. Some radio stations
and some cable outlets carried it, but it was so not news that it made
the president look really foolish repeating the same pabulum platitudes
with nary a whit of wisdom about the future.
Why is it that no matter what he is saying, the president always
looks like Eddie Haskell? “You
look lovely this morning, Mrs Cleaver. Those pearls are exquisite.
Would you care for another cup of Turkish coffee while we wait
for Mr Chalabi and the Beav?” Mr Ahmad Chalabi was supposed to be the George
Washington of his country. He
turns out to be more a cross between P T Barnum, Al Capone and the guys
who ran Enron. Of course
our beloved George did not really chop down a cherry tree, slept many
places he probably shouldn’t have - - he did die of syphilis after
all- -and did not row a boat to Trenton with an American flag in it.
Betsy was still sewing while the guys were rowing.
It wasn’t finished. In Mr Chalabi we thought we had found the
perfect consigliere. His
advice and counsel gave us all the information we thought we needed to
invade Iraq, depose Saddam and find weapons of mass destruction.
And we wanted him to be the founding father of a new Iraq so
badly that we went along with almost everything he demanded, including
millions of dollars. We had
him all set to be the Iraqi Myles Standish.
All he needed was a Pilgrim hat and a blunderbuss.
Or not. It seems, however, that Chalabi’s poll
ratings are barely one-tenth of Saddam’s even now- -about 3% of the
Iraqi population still support Saddam- -and you guessed it- -0.03%
support Mr Chalabi. How
could we get this so wrong? Doesn’t
ANYBODY on our side have a CLUE?
How ever are we going to get this mess untangled?
I don’t care if they’re Republican, Democrat or Pussy Cat-
-we need this mess fixed and soon. Okay- -so who else have they unearthed?
Nobody yet. All the
second and third bananas are no better than Chalabi.
He and his cohorts have recently been accused of passing secrets
to Iran, kidnapping, embezzlement, torture, theft and who knows what
else? We truly have, as Jon
Stewart reminds us nightly, “A Mess’O’Potamia”. To listen to the FOX News hounds, this is all
just a little glitch in what will become a great victory for the
Coalition Provisional Authority and the People of Iraq.
We are just moments away from being in the liberating position we
always planned to be in. There is an appropriate quote that is
appearing frequently in conjunction with the coming sixtieth anniversary
soon of D-Day. Take heed,
Wee Georgie. It is from
Winston Churchill: “There
is no worse mistake in public leadership than to hold out false hopes
soon to be swept away”. Think
about it. So finally, after scouring the countryside for an appropriate Iraqi to hand over power to, it has been announced that the turnover will be to a small boy named Jack for a cow and some magic beans.
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