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Grady Brewer was a coal miner from nearby
Grundy County and spoke as few words in the course of a day as any man
I’ve ever known. He’d let you talk all you wanted to and sit quietly
looking at you with a Buddha-like grin. One thing he told his son has become one of
my best chunks of wisdom. When his boy would come to him describing some
kind of complicated problem, Grady would simply say, “If you’ve got
a problem, get rid of it, boy.” I know what your first thought will be upon
reading this. You will think, “Life is not that simple.” The strange
truth is that often it is that simple. We tolerate problems for a lot of bad
reasons. One bad reason is that we have decided life is made up of
problems and we can’t get rid of them. I know you have seen people who
have decided they can’t get well because “we start dying the day
we’re born.” Now isn’t that a dandy way to look at life? Instead
of thinking “I am living” we choose to think, “I am dying.” You think, “Oh, but it’s true.” No
it’s not. We only die once. We live until we die and some of us
metaphysical fools think we live forever because God is life and we are
God’s creations. So get rid of that “dying every day” idea. It can
do nothing for you and it can do a lot to you. Relationship problems are a little less
easy to get rid of if life has structured someone into your world. If
your child is ruining his or her life on drugs, you cannot get rid of
the child. All you can do is reduce the impact of that problem on you.
You can do what you know to do and turn it loose as much of the time as
possible. You can love the child without getting totally destroyed by
their problem. You can get rid of the feeling that you must solve that
problem. The reality is that only your child can get rid and after you
let him or her know you are available to help without supporting the
habit, you can get rid of feeling any guilt for a problem you did not
create. You have not been a perfect parent because there are none.
Accept that and get rid of the undeserved guilt. Sit down right now and list your top ten
problems. You will quickly see there are some you can just get rid of
immediately if not sooner. Just have the gall to do it. You are not God. Accept it and get on with
trying to be a happy human. Visit Dalton’s website at www.daltonroberts.com.
Write him at DownhomeP@aol.com His writings are gathered at www.ipsfeatures.com.
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