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Kim Harpe tells about
a young couple in her church that were expecting their first baby. The
father-to-be asked, “What is your one sage bit of wisdom to help me
get a handle on this daddy business?” Kim reflected back on raising
her two children and answered, “You’ve got to let them fall down.” She is right. It would
be difficult to think of any better advice to give a new parent,
especially for that first child. We are much more inclined to be
over-protective of that first one. A minister recently
questioned the wisdom of Dr. Spock in telling parents to just let their
children cry when their crying did not appear to come from pain. She
wondered how often children who cry in the crib may be responding to a
scary dream or some fear of abandonment. Despite great respect
for Dr. Spock, I would be inclined to carefully check on a crying child
before leaving them alone with their tears. Yet, I agree with Kim. You
cannot protect children from every possible problem. If you try to catch
them every time they fall, they will never develop their muscles. More
importantly, they will never develop their psychological muscles. As Kim says,
“This piece of advice is not limited to skinned knees. It is allowing
them to live with the choices they make and letting them know that
sometimes we have to crawl even after we’ve walked.” That last part hit me.
We have to be able to crawl again even after we have walked. It reminded
me of the time I was fired. I had been successful on every job I had up
to that point in life. But once I was fired and was unable to quickly
find a good job, it really took the wind out of my sails. Yes, I had to learn to
crawl again. I had to learn the basics of applying for a job, going for
interviews. I remember almost begging for one job that seemed to fit me.
I didn’t get it. It was one of the most humbling experiences of my
life. If I had to add
anything to Kim’s good advice it would be to teach children that they
will fall as long as they live. It might keep them from being as shocked
as I was when I bit the dust for a while. Dalton‘s website is www.daltonroberts.com.
His writings are gathered at www.ipsfeatures.com.
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